Ned Flanders, here is your B-Musement Park

This has got to be some kind of sick joke, right?




Hmm... think I saw this on the Simpsons once...

For more ridiculousness, click here. I love the opening picture with Jesus, he's like some generic mascot for a crappy theme park! Oh wait...

How do you make millions of people cry at work?

Facebook updates its site in the middle of the work day. Millions of desk workers cry. Productivity at a one year high.

WOW.

That's all I can say for now. Will post details later. But... wow.

Bad Influence

I was crossing the road today, the same road I cross everyday to get to the subway station. The difference this time is that a father and his young son were on the other side of the road, waiting for the light to turn green. I saw that there was no traffic, and I proceeded to j-walk. We all do that, right?

As I passed the child, he looks to his father and asks

"Dad, how come HE can cross on a red light?"

His dad must have been cursing me under his breath as he tries to explain why his son has to wait for the green, while bad influences like me get to cross on a red and will eventually get sent to jail for all our wrong doings.

A Birds' Eye View of Global Warming

I went downtown to sign my rental agreement on the 3rd, and decided to subway it down instead of driving. If you've lived in suburban Toronto/GTA, you'll know the routine: drive to Finch station, park your car at the lot, and ride the rocket. Between the parking lot and the subway station, there's a bit of a walk. The walk usually isn't bad, but when the weather's cold, it really sucks.

The sucktitude was at maximum that day, as it felt like it was -10 or less. To my shock and surprise, I found a giant gathering of pigeons at the station door. It's early February, cold, and it's been snowing, so why are the pigeons here? I've heard that global warming had screwed up the migration pattern for some birds, and it looks like these poor buggers are some of the victims.

Two things I saw made it even worse for me: first, some pigeons were on the hotdog cart pecking away at the corn relish. I LOVE corn relish and I'm saddened that I'll never have it at the Finch stand ever again. More importantly, however, I've never seen these birds so aggressive in getting food. It must mean that they're starving.

Next, the pigeons started to come towards me and crowd around me. I thought that was bizarre, as the birds usually are at least a bit shy, if not scared, of people. Then they got even more aggresive and started to peck my shoes. These guys must be REALLY hungry.

I felt terrible. I've been talking about Global Warming for a while now and how it'll likely hit us much sooner then we think. I've thought that it would really hit us soon, but not this soon; it's so close that I've felt it literally pecking at my feet.

The Prince of Darkness is my new hero

[Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne along tour producer Live Nation announced at the Concert Industry Consortium in Los Angeles that their 12th annual touring metal festival - a 25-date run launching July 7 in Los Angeles - will be completely free for fans.

As for the reasoning behind the decision, Sharon Osbourne says, "For the last few years, ticket prices have steadily climbed as artists demand more and more money for summer tours. We certainly want everybody to make money, however we also want the kids to be able to afford to come out and have an incredible experience. If we continued with the traditional touring festival model, we would have no choice but to raise ticket prices again this year."

"We're reaching the same point we did years ago when kids no longer wanted to pay for overpriced CDs. As a result, they found alternative ways of getting music. That's what's happening with summer touring in this country, it's out-pricing itself. We started this and we want to keep it and we want to make it bigger and bigger each year by getting bigger sponsors to be involved with the festival and underwriting the festival. That's what it's about."

The plan is for OzzFest and Live Nation will turn to sponsors to pick up the tab for the tickets for the festival's new incarnation. Bands will not be paid to perform and expenses will be covered from sales of food, drinks and merchandise.]

Way to go Ozzy! (Well, maybe I should be congratulating Sharon) Way to stay ahead of the game before ticket prices get out of hand. Now if they can only do the same for a music genre that I care for...

Hey, at least I find it funny...

A portrait of a man drawing a portrait of a man

Caught this guy (in the grey hat) sketching other people on the subway yesterday. I just like the title that I came up for this entry.

Second City, First Class

Hey, forgot to tell you this story from Tuesday.

I went to Chimichanga during lunch (near HMV north of Yonge/Dundas), which serves Mexican take out and is HIGHLY recommended by Nic. I was served by an English youngster, whose nationality was given away by his unmistakable accent. His name is Jamie, and hails from London, UK. Since you don't see many full-on english blokes around these parts of town, I asked why he was in Toronto. He's apparently studying under the Second City comedy troupe, which to my surprise is highly regarded by the English comedy circuits.

Wow. Isn't that something? Toronto's own Second City is world reknown.

The steak burrito was also out of this world, in case you were wondering.

2 days later, I have my own apartment!

I'm still in a bit of shock... here's what transpired starting Saturday:

Jan 27th: drove down and saw apartment on Danforth/Chester, liked it a lot. Told the landlord that I could move in sooner then the advertised March 1 date.
Jan 28th: got email from landlord, filled out form for application and sent it back
Jan 29th: got the application form and was asked to give additional information. Sent it back at 4pm, got an email that I got the apartment at 5pm. Get a call from the landlord saying that I could move in as soon as this Sunday.

... and that's it. I'm moving out?! I was completely stunned yesterday as it happened so quickly... I spent some time on MSN writing to people online (if you're finding out on my blog that I'm moving, I'm slowly getting to you to tell you personally... or via mass email!) and it felt like I was saying goodbye. But that's just silly, I'm just downtown!

You're all welcomed at my place, any time. =)

I can't do this any more!!!

It's only been TWO weeks and I'm already throwing the towel in! I can't stand this bloody commute which takes up 3 hours of my life daily and restricts me as to EXACTLY when I go and leave work. I feel like a rat in a cage. Despite all my rage.

What could you get with CDN$650?

Since starting my new job, I've had to wake up @ 5:30/5:45 to catch the 7am GO Train to get to work for 8:30. It's brutal, so I started to look for alternatives, aka renting a place downtown! It'd really be great to live in the city again, rather then being a slave to the Go Transit schedule. My problem is that I'm not willing to spend more then $650 for rent a month... in Kingston, I hear you can find a mansion for that price. In Toronto... well, it gets you a hole in the wall (the room fit one matress... period) on the wrong side of town (south side of Dundas/Church), in a building that looks like it hasn't been vacuumed since the turn of the century, whose superintendent looked like Kid Rock's drummer. Minus the cool dreads, ofcourse.

So, it looks like I'll be up in Richmond Hill for now. If you guys know of anyone that's renting out for cheap, let me know!

And here's a thought... drop me a note and tell me what YOU can get for CDN$650 a month for rent in your city. Ha! I write as if I have an audience...

Born an Andrew

Is my name so hard to remember? I find that people don't remember my name... I mean, they make an effort to, but it always ends up being "Andy" or "Andrew". Mostly the latter, as demonstrated today:

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Sitting alone at the GO Station while waiting for my train to arrive, I heard a voice that sounded like it was directed to me.

"Andrew!", the man said in excitment.

I looked at him and could not recognize him. I asked him if he's got the right guy, and he manages to name my parents by name. Turns out that he's a friend of theirs.

"You're their son right?"

I told him that he was correct, and we had a chat on the train ride home about his kids and if he should start his son on the drums. The train arrives at our stop, and we quickly gathered our belongings to depart from the train.

"I'll see you around, Andrew!"

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ANDREW. He can get my parents' names right, but I'm Andrew. *sigh*.

TELUS and Becks

What a strangely touching day. It was my second last day with TELUS before moving on to my new job, and it seemed like everyone came out to say goodbye to me. I felt kind of awkward recieving all this attention, as people poured out encouragements and support. I did NOT expect any of that, and honestly I was just trying to play it low-key. The Creative and Production Services team presented me with a customized card (*very* me) and a framed picture of the team (with some hillarious photoshopped results). They even bought me a cake... which was uncanny I bought THEM a cake. So we had a double cake celebration to send me and Jen (whose last day was today before she went on Mat Leave) off, and I'm totally caked out by the end of the day.

Two others are leaving TELUS at the same time, one of which will be leaving for Australia soon. I met Jody while TELUS went on strike and we were forced to go on the phones to fill in for customer service people. We made a pact that if the strike was to last longer then 3 months, we'd both quit to find oppourtunities elsewhere. Funny how we're both quitting at the same time now, a year and a half after the strike!

To cap off the day, I find out that David Beckham has signed with LA Galaxy. Which is GREAT, since that will mean that I can watch Beckham play for a fraction of the price that would've costed me to watch him play in Europe. I'm liking Toronto FC and the MLS already...

Customer "Service"

So I called up Bell Mobility to break my service terms, since I now have a spiffy new phone from Hong Kong and need to be on the GSM network. After being with Bell Mobility for nearly a decade, I figured that they'd hook me up SOMEthing. Nope.

Went on the phone with customer service for 1.5hrs, I was rewarded with a $200 contract breaking penalty and the best alternative that they could offer: switching me to pre-paid for free and throwing in 100 minutes. This was after I told them that I'm leaving the country indefinately and need to break my contract. Way to go, Bell. That was a complete waste of time. =S

Oh, the website knows...

How true. How true.

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 65% Spider-Man 65% Green Lantern 60% Hulk 50% The Flash 50% Robin 47% Supergirl 40% Catwoman 40% Iron Man 35% Batman 30% Wonder Woman 30%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...