Ned Flanders, here is your B-Musement Park

This has got to be some kind of sick joke, right?




Hmm... think I saw this on the Simpsons once...

For more ridiculousness, click here. I love the opening picture with Jesus, he's like some generic mascot for a crappy theme park! Oh wait...

How do you make millions of people cry at work?

Facebook updates its site in the middle of the work day. Millions of desk workers cry. Productivity at a one year high.

WOW.

That's all I can say for now. Will post details later. But... wow.

Bad Influence

I was crossing the road today, the same road I cross everyday to get to the subway station. The difference this time is that a father and his young son were on the other side of the road, waiting for the light to turn green. I saw that there was no traffic, and I proceeded to j-walk. We all do that, right?

As I passed the child, he looks to his father and asks

"Dad, how come HE can cross on a red light?"

His dad must have been cursing me under his breath as he tries to explain why his son has to wait for the green, while bad influences like me get to cross on a red and will eventually get sent to jail for all our wrong doings.

A Birds' Eye View of Global Warming

I went downtown to sign my rental agreement on the 3rd, and decided to subway it down instead of driving. If you've lived in suburban Toronto/GTA, you'll know the routine: drive to Finch station, park your car at the lot, and ride the rocket. Between the parking lot and the subway station, there's a bit of a walk. The walk usually isn't bad, but when the weather's cold, it really sucks.

The sucktitude was at maximum that day, as it felt like it was -10 or less. To my shock and surprise, I found a giant gathering of pigeons at the station door. It's early February, cold, and it's been snowing, so why are the pigeons here? I've heard that global warming had screwed up the migration pattern for some birds, and it looks like these poor buggers are some of the victims.

Two things I saw made it even worse for me: first, some pigeons were on the hotdog cart pecking away at the corn relish. I LOVE corn relish and I'm saddened that I'll never have it at the Finch stand ever again. More importantly, however, I've never seen these birds so aggressive in getting food. It must mean that they're starving.

Next, the pigeons started to come towards me and crowd around me. I thought that was bizarre, as the birds usually are at least a bit shy, if not scared, of people. Then they got even more aggresive and started to peck my shoes. These guys must be REALLY hungry.

I felt terrible. I've been talking about Global Warming for a while now and how it'll likely hit us much sooner then we think. I've thought that it would really hit us soon, but not this soon; it's so close that I've felt it literally pecking at my feet.

The Prince of Darkness is my new hero

[Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne along tour producer Live Nation announced at the Concert Industry Consortium in Los Angeles that their 12th annual touring metal festival - a 25-date run launching July 7 in Los Angeles - will be completely free for fans.

As for the reasoning behind the decision, Sharon Osbourne says, "For the last few years, ticket prices have steadily climbed as artists demand more and more money for summer tours. We certainly want everybody to make money, however we also want the kids to be able to afford to come out and have an incredible experience. If we continued with the traditional touring festival model, we would have no choice but to raise ticket prices again this year."

"We're reaching the same point we did years ago when kids no longer wanted to pay for overpriced CDs. As a result, they found alternative ways of getting music. That's what's happening with summer touring in this country, it's out-pricing itself. We started this and we want to keep it and we want to make it bigger and bigger each year by getting bigger sponsors to be involved with the festival and underwriting the festival. That's what it's about."

The plan is for OzzFest and Live Nation will turn to sponsors to pick up the tab for the tickets for the festival's new incarnation. Bands will not be paid to perform and expenses will be covered from sales of food, drinks and merchandise.]

Way to go Ozzy! (Well, maybe I should be congratulating Sharon) Way to stay ahead of the game before ticket prices get out of hand. Now if they can only do the same for a music genre that I care for...

Hey, at least I find it funny...